I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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