Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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