In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
