Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
