the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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