What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
