and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
