what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
