I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
