Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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