you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
