i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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