I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
