Are we in a gay sports bar?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He felt like a one man threesome
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
