Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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