I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
