At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
