I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
