I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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