Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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