I don't think brook has ever known best
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
