if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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