how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
