You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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