i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
