I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
