I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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