He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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