I want to walk on stilts...naked
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
