I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
