He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
