I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize