she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
