Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
