so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
