ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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