4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
