Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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