OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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