I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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