STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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