Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
