honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
