69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Quick, to the slutcave!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
