Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
