I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
