as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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