nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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