Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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