Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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