you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
