have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
